Beware the Bible Haters

I came across an article recently, while doing a book search, titled ContradictionsinBible (sic).


It became apparent that this was a blind bigotted attack on Scripture before I had got past the first page.

This is what I read:

“Every word of God proves true.” says the Bible, Proverbs 30: 5. KJ version). Is the Bible, then, entirely the word of God? Does every word prove true?....

The writer, K E Nahigian of Sacramento assumes that his readers, being Cretins, would not think for a moment to pick up a Bible and read for themselves.

If they do, they will read at Proverbs 30: 5 in the English King James Bible, Every word of God is pure.

We do not waste our time reading the rantings of sin-laden theological scholars so the thing was dumped immediately. The man had nothing to say that related to truth.

We are not concerned with answering every smear against our Holy Spirit given Bible. We are not anxious to convert the soul sitting in the gathering with his perversion of Scripture on his knee. We are concerned with strengthening the faith of those who know and love the true Bible.

□ Another book: The Invisible War caught my attention while reading an article by E Wilson. Written by Donald Grey Barnhouse, it describes the conflict between good and evil. Barnhouse was an outstanding theologian but alas, I discovered in the first few pages that he held to the “Gap Theory” and much of his work was based on this error. I discarded the book.

interpretations

Interpretations

He was a quiet brother.                     meaning       He never spoke a word for the Lord.
We don’t know whether he’s saved  . "                  He never spoke a word for the Lord.
We don’t know whether he is saved . “                 He’s unmoved by gospel preaching.
He doesn’t show much interest         . “                 He sleeps through the meetings.
He’s a carnal believer                         . “                  He asks questions of the oversight.
He’s a great scholar                           . "                  He thinks the Bible is full of error
He’s very gifted.                                    “                  He has two cars and a big house.
He’s a fine preacher.                            “                 His ministry never touches me.
He’s a humble brother                         “                  He doesn’t earn half what I do.
He has a simple faith                       . “                    He never reads his Bible.
He attends the meetings regularly     “                   He comes Sunday mornings only.
He’s a powerful preacher                  “                   He never calls for repentance.
His wife is a “mother in Israel”.         “                   His wife rules the Assembly.
We are not sure where his children stand .  “      His children run wild.
He wants to be the church secretary        “           He understands the “book me-I'll book you” system.
He says the AV Bible has lots of mistakes,  "        He never believed the Bible anyway.

What about the NIV?

True Origin of NIV

This report is taken from the works of Herr Ingboen the Germerican theologian.
While working on the pre-Adamic fossil fields which lay between Genwunwun and Genwuntu in the impenetrable region of Higher Krittika, where sane men have never trod, Herr Ingbown made an amazing discovery.
A casket was found with strange markings on it. After careful examination he was able to determine a prehistoric code. It read LIAR HSITIRB FO YTREPORP.
Inside the casket was a roll of paper wound round a small cardboard cylinder. The roll was covered in hyroglyphics that hadn’t been invented until later in the Egyptian era. It had the pungent smell of the Alexandrian Sandpits.
He knew immediately he had discovered the original NIV.

Arriving back in Infiddellia, capital of Germerica, he set to work cleaning it up ready for publication. At first none would buy it but Rupert Mudlark and his press gang took an interest in it. He knew the Ghetto Dwellers of New Tork would fall for it, and they did. As also did a few at the Brose Glory Chapel. [the BGC’s are found mainly in Ontario, and north of Oxford-ed]
They liked the story of Samson and Deluded and how the world was made in 350,000,000,000,000 days [I thik there are too many noughts here- ed.] The story of the old lady swallowing a whale went down a scream,
Richard Squawkins declared it to be a masterpiece; a triumph of science, a death-blow to homeopathy and the theory of light.

So we have the NIV . Nil In Vitro.
This title , Herr Ingboen, assures us, will allay the fears of the scholars. It has never been put to the test. It has never been in the crucible.
The following authorities have vouchsafed the accuracy of this article:
J Riggle, B Bunter, B Stevedore, DR Pest, LMS, NAAFI.